Opinion: Keep your Opinion Off of My Body

My approach to pregnancy has been very relaxed and not draconian. Sometimes, I don't even feel like people are really concerned that I'm going to screw up Scooter; I just think that they like to tell me what to do.

I have a cup of coffee every morning. I dilute it pretty good with milk, and I'm unwilling to give this up.

I have half a glass of wine about twice a week with my dinner. I don't feel the wine. I drink it over the course of my dinner, and it amounts to about 3-4 sips. I don't want it everyday, and I never crave more than just a few sips, but I'd like to continue behaving like an adult and being treated like an adult. Thank you very much.

Sometimes I'll smell my husband's bourbon.

I got my hair foiled at the beginning of my pregnancy. The dye didn't even touch my scalp, so don't give me any grief about harming my fetus with chemicals. I'd get my hair done again if I could find a stylist out here, and if I wasn't so lazy.

Why do pregnant women need to be told that they should absolutely abstain from activities like the ones I've mentioned above? Here's why: Because women will give their babies fetal alcohol syndrome by drinking more than they should (common sense: if you get a buzz and feel like shit the next day, imagine how that must make your developing fetus feel), and then they lie about their consumption to their OBs. The only thing the OB can do is tell pregnant women to absolutely abstain because women will claim that they only had two glasses of wine their whole entire pregnancy, but their babies will be born with F.A.S. It just takes a few irresponsible expectant mothers to ruin it for everyone else.

It's a common-sense equation: Eat well + Treat your body well + Move your body around + Don't stress out = Happy Scooter.