The Graphically Pregnant Body

Obviously pregnancy changes each woman's body differently. For myself, at 34 weeks, some changes have been drastic, and others more subtle.

Starting from the top down: The hair is overall the same. My face is the same. I already had hyperpigmentation due to contraceptives and sunshine, so the dark spots on my face are not a result of pregnancy.

To address the overall largest organ of the body: I have some small bumps as a result of pregnancy. I believe they're known as PUPP (an acronym including the words pregnancy and papules, I believe). They're similar to hives, and they itch like a bitch. In my first trimester, for whatever reason, I developed a nasty case of vesicular eczema on my hands and feet. My extremities looked leprous. It's completely gone now. Go figure. I also have developed some small skin tags here and there. As a child, I remember how certain relatives had a proliferation of skin tags on their faces and necks. May this not be the case for me.

Most disturbing, though, is my linea negra, which should be running down the center of my belly. Apparently, though, I am asymmetrical. Either my belly button (not so much a button now, but more of a flat brown disc, like a penny, with a mildly outie bump in the middle) is off-center or my linea negra is off-center. Either way, my middle does not line up. My hole from my piercing, which I removed, is flattened against my belly, but it is still viable. Provided my belly bounces back to some semblance of itself, I can put my ring back in. A few inches above the piercing hole, there is another mysterious hole in my belly that has been there as long as I can remember. I have no idea what it is. I have always joked that it was where the aliens implanted my tracking device. Well, I thought that I'd finally figure out the mystery hole once my belly expanded and the hole stretched, but I still have no idea what it is. It's still just a strange small hole in my belly.

My private parts have become private even to me. I haven't seen them in months. Here is one of the biggest problems with living in the middle of nowhere: I can't find a decent sugarer. And I'm afraid to leave my parts in the hands of some dragon-lady waxer. So, I have pubic hair again, which appalls me. But, if I can't see my parts, I can't really be all that offended by them. But, once Scooter is born, you can bet that I'll once again renovate: Goodbye carpet, hello hardwood floors!

Okay, the boobs. Soon to be a food source. They're a cup-size larger, and a bit softer. But, holy cow, my nipples are nearly the size of tea-cups! The craziest thing about my belly and boobs is the veins. My skin is stretched and my blood volume has increased, which has made me a walking model of vascularity. Yet, the phlebotomist still can't find my antecubital vein.

Hmm, what else?

Feet: same. Legs: same. Ass: same (thank God). Who knows? I may have developed some spider or varicose veins, but I can't really see below my belly. Shaving my legs is problematic, but the razor prevails.

So, there it is. And in a month and a half, new changes.